If you are wondering ...

Just a quick blog post to put up the link to the results in Beijing. First day of competition was a success for Canada in Alex and Arturo winning a bronze on the 3 metre synchro. No pressure for them as they have already qualified for the Olympics. Riley reports the events are HUGE with every country attempting to qualify and also compete in the Olympic pool. The men's 3 metre will take 6 hours!

http://www.diving2008.org.cn/en/

Text Messages and Skype!

Well he may be 16 hours ahead and half a world away but thanks to text messaging and Skype I've been able to stay in touch with Riley enough to know he's doing great. Xian was very successful on all fronts. The hotel and food both were outstanding which relieved a lot of stress. His messages indicated successful practises (one to coach Tommy had two "greats"in the note) and a general contentment. By the end of the first week, China had become boring (read no shopping yet) and a change in location to Beijing was welcomed. A surprise call on Valentines Day via Skype ( I was enjoying a dinner cruise on a historic vessel with the queen) was the end to a perfect day.

An update on day one in Beijing indicated the accommodation and food not nearly as good as in Xian but a note today full of enthusiasm for the Olympic pool (will post pics when he sends them) and the size of the events tells me he is still doing fine. Missing him lots but can't wait to hear how the events unfold. Team Canada is focused and on course.

Another Trip to the Airport

Riley left for China today. It was the first time that we've gone to the airport and he did the driving. A milestone in a year of many.

Hoping the internet connections in Xian works. The hotel website says there is wireless in the public area and an internet access centre but you never know in China. Its a long way away and I miss him already.

Beijing or Bust

...was the title of the celebration held today at Commonwealth Pool to announce that Victoria would host the 2008 Olympic Trials and to introduce 20+ Olympic and Olympic hopefuls to a cheering crowd of several hundred, mostly elementary school kids.

Riley was featured and did a great job of acting as an ambassador for the sport. When Mayor Alan Lowe recounted carrying Riley on his shoulders during the Trans Canada Trail unveiling in 1997 I remembered it like yesterday. How could that tall amazing young man up on the 10 metre be my little boy? An intense tv interview yesterday ended up on the cutting room floor due to some technical difficulties. I think Riley was just as glad as questions were asked regarding the coaching change and its impact. At dinner last night Riley told me how he had responded, focusing on the positives Tommy has brought to the training and leaving the rest unsaid. Wise move for one so young.

The rest of this afternoon consisted of a stop at the food court and a hair cut. Riley has always like to set the style and lately its been a revised "mullet" much to my dismay. Common sense prevailed as he realized it may not be appropriate for World Cup -the photo below is a memory of the head of hair. He definitely inherited my locks!

Tomorrow is his last day home before he heads off to Beijing. He is calm and prepared. The last few weeks of training have been fantastic. Exhausting both mentally and physically but he's seen the value of focus and training. He has a lovely quiet calm about him this time around. I'm curious to see how it turns out.

Oh yes, and what would a trip post be without a comment on travel arrangements. I think I acheived the mother of all coups in that I secured him an Executive Suite upgrade on one of AC's new 767's. Fly well Riley :)

Cubans Are Here

January is Cuba month. The National Team is here training with us preparing for World Cup. Their pool is under repair (truth be told - it will always be under repair) and has no heat. You may think that in Cuba, a pool doesn't need heat but diving into a cold pool from ten metres is miserable and dangerous. The water is harder and the chance of injuries greater. For Riley its nice to have more company up on the ten metre including Jose Guerra, world silver medalist and probably the only diver with a chance at beating the Chinese in Beijing. The Cuban team and their coach Leno are big fans of Riley and take their mentoring role seriously in encouraging Riley to be well prepared for the Olympics.

A First Look at Beijing

Following the Camo meet last month, Riley was invited back to Montreal this past weekend to participate in a camp that would determine whether he would be included on the World Cup team travelling to Beijing next month. After the 10 metre individual event, Riley and his synchro partner Reuben dove very very well at Camo but missed the very very high standard score by just a few points. I was very proud that he came back and gave a strong performance after such a personal disappointment and national office believes that Riley and Reuben have the best chance at securing a synchro spot for Canada in the Olympics (there will only be 8 countries included!!) but they wanted to put them through their paces one more time.

Well Riley and Reuben rose to the challenge and gave 3 awesome performances on the weekend which secured them the spot on the team. Word back from the coaching staff was that Riley in particular was outstanding. And so, we'll be packing him off again, this time from February 8th through 26th. How very important to spend three weeks training in the Olympic City and the Olympic Pool. If you want a sneak peek at this stunning facility, click http://en.beijing2008.cn/cptvenues/venues/nac/index.shtml

Leaving Behind, Moving Forward

Not one much for New Year's Resolutions (0r many deep thoughts for that matter), my dear friend Faye's invitation to her New Year's Eve Party tonight asked that we bring an idea or an object "that we would like to leave behind this year" has got me thinking. Is there anything about this year and my relationship with Riley I want to leave behind?

Certainly there has been a ton of good stuff. Watching Riley turn 16; achieve some of his athletic goals; get his driver's license; and still knowing that he needs his mom now and again as I've cheered him on through his successes and consoled him through his disappointments (and helped him through a few travel emergencies) have all been important experiences and not ones to leave behind but rather to squirrel away in that very special place that holds our memories.

So what to leave? Perhaps the anxiety of building a new relationship in a shared parenting scenario. Accepting I will always be his mom but that as he grows older and our relationship changes, looking forward to more wonderful memories and being less anxious about the impact of the decisions I've needed to make. That anxiety has certainly caused me many sleepless nights and I'd love to leave that feeling behind!

There will be a tremendous amount of pressure on Riley this year and I can help him best by continuing to be his mom, his number one fan and provide the unconditional love that is so easy to do.

Here comes 2008 Riley and the poster on your bedroom wall that says "Its a long road to Beijing" is truer now more than ever. The road is much shorter now and I'll be there on the road in what ever way you need me.

Much love xoxo

It's Not All Hard Work

Last Thursday I went to the pool to pick up Riley after practise. As is my practise, I went early to watch and what a surprise. Our sixteen year olds had time travelled back to when they were ten and were playing up on the ten metre, or rather the eleven metre! Enjoy!

Twelve Days of McCormica

Some years ago, Riley decided to adopt his own version Chrismukka made popular by the TV show OC in which one of the lead actors Seth Cowen celebrates the holidays with his Jewish father and Protestant mother. While no Jewish blood has yet to be found in our immediate family, Riley loved the thought of getting gifts for both holidays and the twelve days of McCormica was born. Judging by the small pile under my tree, checking with girlfriend Bri on her list and knowing Riley's dad always a big Christmas gift buyer will have tons, McCormica is alive and well again this year.

I'm really having mixed feelings about it all. It seems every year the real reason behind the giving gets lost behind the monetary value of the gift. Riley so enjoys both so its hard to take that away but I have always struggled with the need to buy and buy. Not really sure how to express it clearly so I'll leave it at that for the moment.

One of the nicest holiday activities we enjoyed was an evening at Butchart Gardens. Bri's mom Jackie and I took her four and Riley for an evening of skating, hot apple cider and a wander around the brightly lit gardens. The twelve days of Christmas are featured and its really a wonderful way to get into the holiday spirit.

For me, the best gift Riley could give me is his time. It was a lovely evening and a lovely gift.

"What the Hell Happened to Me This Week?"

Well that was the tag line on Riley's Facebook account after a week of turmoil in Montreal. I'll cut to the chase - he came 14th! He was beat out by three other Canadians which meant he did not get a spot on the World Cup team and I'm not really sure what his choices are for Grand Prix.

After a few days to put it all in perspective, this is what I think happened. First the injury. Leading up to the event he could not train on 10 metre. He was only able to get one full practise in during the week in Montreal leading up to the event. That impacts consistency and confidence. The results showed that for sure. Some dives he did really really well for scores of 8.5. Others he missed completely, scoring 3.5 to 4. The field was incredibly strong and a lot of amazing divers dove really well. The Canadians not so much, the top Canadian came 10th and if Riley was in form, he likely would have been around 6th.

Next is the change in coaching. He and Tommy are doing well together and are making a lot of necessary changes to move Riley up in the World rankings. Unfortunately, they are in the middle of changes and as a result, putting the dives in cleanly is challenging. Tommy reported that all coaches, divers and judges really like the changes he is making and they are on the right track - its just a matter of time ... not so sure how much of that we have this year though.

Finally, I'm not sure Riley really understands the changes he personally needs to make in this very important year. He's still trying to fit in all his activities and sometimes that means late nights, not great nutrition and distractions. That has had an impact too.

Reality is, this was a disappointment and a wake up call but not that big a deal. I'm reminded of many top athletes who have set backs and come back with a vengeance. It's Riley's choice on how he deals with this experience - it will be interesting to watch. I'm still his biggest fan and will support him all the way.

The Road to Beijing Starts Again ...

Riley is on the road again, this time to Montreal. He's competing in trials to determine which top two Canadian 10 metre divers will go to the World Cup in Beijing in February. This event is really really important because 1)World Cup is the test event for the Olympics and 2)it sets the tone and course for his competitions for the rest of the season. Establishing himself as the top 10 metre diver in Canada gives him confidence going into the trials for the Olympics which will be held in June in Victoria (and yes you are all invited!!!!).

Hard reality of sport - Riley is injured. During a routine practise 2 weeks ago he landed wrong on a back 3 and 1/2 and has hurt his back. The medical diagnosis is "He compressed the facet joints of his lumbar spine and mildly strained lumbar musculature". He is getting good care and healing but the timing couldn't have been worse. He's going into this competition less prepared than he would like. Its a good lesson however. I read somewhere that elite athletes rarely compete in top form, usually nursing some kind of injury or another. Its disappointing for him but its the nature of the game.

Wish him luck! For those interested - his competition is Sunday December 9th and the results can be found on http://www.integratedsports.net/diving/LiveResults46/. I'll be on the computer watching and cheering him on!

Love From a Distance

So its kind of a crappy day today.

Most of you know that Riley doesn't live with me. While I am respecting his choice to stay at the house which is closer to school, friends and the pool, its really hard to find a balanced approach to finding quality time with him. His dad likely doesn't get much either as Riley spends what little free time he has with friends, but what he does get is that "in between time" which can be so valuable. I think you know what I mean - the time eating dinner, driving to and from school, the pool, the just hanging out time that gives the opportunity to connect in a less formal way.

For me, its about making appointments to see Riley, which often result in him giving up something he's doing with his friends. There are so many things I need and want to talk to him about but am often leery to spoil what little time we have with "parent" type conversations - of course the kind no teenager likes.

Today I really wanted to see Riley but he changed his plan in favour of going out with friends and to a hockey game. I know friends are way more fun than Mom but its disappointing. I tried to explain how I was feeling but in Riley's mind - I'm "high maintenance", "kind of like another girlfriend". I'm at a bit of a loss at the moment but I'm sure it will work itself out.

I suppose its not much different than Mom's who live with their teenagers - we miss them the more they grow up and move away from us. We raise independent children and its that much harder when they exercise their independence.

Financial Planning 101

So last night Riley and I sat down (sort of - he eating sushi and watching TV and me with my laptop eager to share my spreadsheets) to discuss some financial planning.

In January, Riley became a nationally carded athlete which means he receives funding from the federal government. Its been a bit of a crap shoot in terms of spending this year and I was dismayed that the $9,000 he has earned to date has not been managed properly. Starting in 2008 and through to December of 2009, his funding will increase to $1,500 per month and I really wanted him to understand the impact that money could or could not have and the value of doing some planning around it.

I was actually kind of dreading the exercise. Riley takes after his father in terms of money management. Doesn't want to, doesn't need to and who cares. OK if you are out of this world wealthy, but not a great approach for us average folks. I decided to show him what his money could do for him if he chose. Felt a little like an RRSP sales agent but it worked! Setting the goal of what he wanted to have at the end of of 2009 and working it out monthly he saw it was really pretty easy - especially if his mom was willing to manage it for him. We agreed on a savings amount and discussed how much he would get for spending and what he would spend it on. His initial opening negotiation of "you pay for everything" didn't fly but we did have some good dialogue around who should pay for what.

End result was minimally painful for both. I got the satisfaction around some structured spending and he got off pretty easy lecture wise and will have a tidy savings account at the end! I got so excited I wrote out a two page summary of the outcome - will he ever read it ... not so sure but it was a great exercise for me and gave me confidence he's headed in the right direction.

I wonder if my friend Susan's son the teenage financial planner would be proud of us?

Sometimes Silver is Better than Gold

Riley finished up in Puerto Rico this Sunday with a silver on the 10 metre platform. He really wanted to win but was beat out by a US diver by 11 points. His coach Tommy called me very excited with the event - even though they didn't win, he was especially pleased that Riley was making the changes asked of him to enable him to improve even more. This is a transition time they remind me (from coach to coach) and all is on track.

What was probably most exciting however was not how Riley performed in the pool but how he managed outside the pool. This was a tough meet for him - having so much freedom on the senior circuit is quite different than traveling en masse with the juniors. I knew Riley would struggle. I was so very pleased to hear Tommy tell me how great Riley was on the trip. He was the perfect role model with the kids, laughing, cheering and all round a good leader. Given Riley knew the importance of giving back ... but can also be pretty self absorbed ... (read teenager and elite athlete) anything could have happened. I'm so pleased he chose the right path and gave the national office something to be proud of, and for me, it was more than the medal.

On the Road Again ...

His short lived rest over, Riley hit the road again this week, first to Montreal for a training camp, then yesterday he and 23 other young athletes from across Canada flew down to Puerto Rico for the Junior Pan American Diving Championships.

Riley first attended this meet when he was nine years old. It was in Mexico City and I went along too. Couldn't imagine my sweet boy alone in one of the biggest and busiest cities in the world. Riley came away from that meet (his first international) with three gold medals and I came away with the first glimpse of what everyone else in the diving community was saying, "this kid is something special". Named the Top Male Diver at an event in which he couldn't even fit into the track suit, it was magic.

Six years later, he's off to his third Junior Pan Am event and I'm not along for the ride this time. He is such a seasoned traveller, he doesn't often need his mom. As long as he has his laptop and his trusty gaming systems (he took along not one but two XBox Guitar Hero's - don't ask) he does pretty well. This time he is the leader on the trip, the big kid - his room mate is about 3 feet tall and on his first trip. I hope Riley is as kind as Julio was so long ago in Mexico City.

The competition will be tough - at sixteen he's diving harder, higher and working like he's never had to before. He's injured, shoulders, knees, wrists all ache from the hours of training. Its an Olympic year and everything is on fast forward. I don't expect three gold medals this time around, in fact, he is not even diving in the 1 metre to save his energy for the 3 metre and platform, but I know he will do his best and I'll be a proud mom once again.

Life of Grandma from Riley's Point of View

October 13th was a very cool day for our family. My mom (Riley's Grandma) was honoured for her lifetime dedication of volunteering in Mission. It was a wonderful experience to be there to see how appreciated and respected my mother is by such a diverse group of people in our community. I've always known my mom is special but it was so amazing to know that others think so too.

It was also very interesting to see Riley's reaction to the event. The first one was priceless ... driving into the parking lot of the church hall and looking over at a sea of white hair entering the doorway, he commented ... "I guess all the handicapped parking spots are already full"! Oh Riley....

The best part of the day was when my mom got up to speak. The entire place grew quiet and she did such a lovely job of her presentation, typical mom trying to deflect the attention to others who were also deserving and appreciated. Riley got to see his grandma not like he usually does, in the kitchen making him a snack or cheering him on as he drives the lawn mower or car, but he saw her as an icon of her community, strong, gracious, confident and much loved by so many, not just us. It was a very cool day.

Has it Really Been a Month?

Wow! How did that happen? September is always a mad house. Riley back to school and me back to work. Actually I didn't take time off in August but many of my colleagues did and it feels like after Labour Day, everything happens at a frantic space. I don't think I'll attempt to capture all that has happened this month, it was a month of work, school and more travel, me to Philadelphia and Riley to Montreal.

The biggest event for both of us was Riley beginning his diving season with his junior coach. A lot has happened this past year and one of the most challenging things for Riley has been the growing dislike, distrust and frustration with his coach. In order to have the best result possible, a coach and athlete have to be in harmony, both working toward the same goal for the same reasons. Unfortunately, Riley's coach made some personal and professional choices that created a training atmosphere for Riley that became intolerable. (read back to June 16th and "something is off" now becomes clear...)

As a family, we agreed that he would finish out the year and that during the summer break we would explore changes that would maximize his opportunity to attain his Olympic goal as well as find a way for him to enjoy his sport again. It was a very difficult decision and one not taken lightly - there really were only two choices; find a coach in Victoria or move him to Montreal. All agreed the least risky would be Victoria and the change became obvious - reunite Riley with his junior coach Tommy. Tommy and Riley had partnered together to for six years and had tremendous success and Riley felt that with Tommy he could work on some of the things that had been neglected this past year and would have a coach who was working with him and for him.

Its early days but the new/old partnership seems to be going well. Riley seems happy, is working hard and feels very supported which I think is a big deal. I'm quite amazed at what Riley was able to accomplish this year as I start to understand how difficult the training environment was. I'm even more proud of him then ever.

Happy Birthday Riley! Sweet 16 and ...

Well Riley's 16th birthday has come and gone and its been a very busy weekend. The birthday festivities started on Friday when Riley's friends Bri, Jeremy, Jackson and Grayson with Bri in charge decided that Riley must have a surprise birthday party. Riley's birthday celebrations actually started a week previous when we sent him to Cancun as his gift but his friends just felt he needed to celebrate this event in style. About 100 text messages later and many many suggestions evaluated and thrown out, they decided on a surprise dinner at one of his favourite restaurants, "Moxies" and then a "land yacht" 2 hour sail around Victoria. (translated is a party bus that fits 20, loud music, suspect drinks out of paper cups).


While all the planning was done by the kids, I got to peek in at the festivities now and again as they needed a chauffeur to the restaurant and at the bus pick up. Hearing 20 kids cheer "Surprise" gave me a little chill. The kids all looked so good - girls dressed up and boys cleaned up. Not a pimple among them - something sure has changed since my day!

I was quite unsure about these party buses but they seem to be very popular. After the 1 am pick up I am now a believer. No wrecked house, all very civilized and the kids were in great shape at pick up.

Riley's real birthday on Saturday was a bit of a non event for him as we attended the wedding of our best friend Wendy's first born son Mitch. Yikes - now attending weddings of our friends kids!!! I wish I could say we all had a great time but Riley was overtired from the night before and he was the first to want to leave the reception! Should have left him at home.

Sunday, Riley and I drove to Penticton where I dropped him off to spend the last few days of summer with some friends. I was eagerly anticipating the four hours I had him trapped in the car to have some quality all about life chats but we mostly listened to his bad music and discussed the construction of the Coquihalla Highway. An ah - ha moment was realizing while Riley has travelled the world, he hasn't seen much of BC. Must fix that soon!

The Penticton Ironman was on when we arrived - very exciting and emotional to watch athletes of all shapes, sizes, ages and fitness levels challenge themselves to the ultimate. Really overwhelming to know one who has done it. Riley loved it all and has declared he wants to do an Ironman one day. Perhaps he will and I'd love to be there cheering him on. The family and friends support of the Ironman is a very powerful thing to observe. (ok maybe I should consider trying to do one myself ... hmmm)

So saving the best for last - today is Monday and the first day since Riley turned 16 that the motor vehicle licensing branch was open. Drove back from Osoyoos where I'm staying to pick Riley up and at the office when it opened at 8:30. My boy is now the proud owner of an "L" and I'm relgated to the passenger seat for the end of time. It was cool.

A Mother's Job is to Worry - A Son's Job is to Not

So, I didn't get much of a Riley fix this week. Cancun does not support his cell phone and the beach and all the toys were much more fun that sitting in front of a computer sending emails home.

I did get one message on Saturday that sent me into that world of worry yet again. In checking in with Riley regarding the upcoming hurricane Dean, I asked if there was much going on at the resort. Riley told me all should be fine as their flight left at 3 pm on MONDAY. Gasp!!! Not true. His flight left at 3 on SUNDAY! Could it be he read his ticket wrong. Would he miss his flight, would he get caught in Cancun and have to experience the hurricane. Would it cost me yet another $1000. Would it, could it. Sigh. Called the hotel and left a message with someone with broken English, left more emails, checked flight info on the family he was staying with. Checked airline departure schedules. Checked, checked and rechecked.

I knew that it was very likely he just made the off hand comment on the day and really was on his way home on Sunday but still it was un-nerving. A text message Sunday night from Salt Lake City International Airport finally gave me the answer. My boy was on his way home ... When asked what he meant by Monday he texted "oh I just got the date wrong".

A Regular Kid?

I was reminded yesterday that I haven't blogged in a while. I guess I've been wrapped up in Riley being home and haven't had the urge or need to write. This blog started out as a way for me to express some of my anxiety about Riley and me and all that he has facing and this week we fell into what some might describe as a "normal" mother and child relationship. He slept late, he ate a lot and he had me drive him about 2000 miles around town to his friends, movies, haircut etc. I was happy to do so as a captured teenager in a car means access to information, if not from him well at least from his friends.

Riley has some great friends and they are always polite and willing to chat with me. They are reaching the magic sixteen mark which means discussion focuses on cars and driving (diverting from girls for a short time no doubt). Interestingly, I taught Riley to drive several years ago (once a farm girl always a farm girl) and from time to time he has been behind the wheel. Now that he only has a couple of weeks until his birthday (August 25th!), he has no appetite risking not getting the coveted "L" and is content to let me be the chauffeur. On August 27th however, I relinquish the wheel most likely for ever.

As part of Riley's month of normal (September is the beginning of the year of the Olympics), we have agreed to send him to Mexico for a weeks vacation with a friend and his family. One might think he would not want to get near a plane given his schedule this past year but this trip is different. Surf, sand, girls and a whole lot of fun at an all inclusive resort in Cancun. And not a diving board in site. It will be a great time and a way to recharge his batteries before he starts what will likely be the most stressful year of his life. Enjoy it Riley, you deserve it.